Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
