is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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