Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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