its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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