she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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