yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Your cock deserves a montage
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
