You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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