I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
