I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
