I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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