is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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