even my farts smell like vagina
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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