You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
