Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
