On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize