420 ftw
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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