they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
