I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
