we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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