how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.