remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
