im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to calm my uterus...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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