You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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