Do vagina's smell?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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