when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
nutella sex= disaster
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
