I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
