Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
