i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize