In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
