my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
