She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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