the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Someone signed my nipple.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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