I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
