just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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