apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
