Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize