were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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