Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize