her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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