Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
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one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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