just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
