I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
