I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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