I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
