Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
