According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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