it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
