i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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