Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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