so explain again why im purple
no
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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