she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
