My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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