You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just want to make out with him forever
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
