We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
