Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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