There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
