His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
