Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
