so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
